Another good resource for fathers looking for fairness.

American Coalition for Fathers and Children

Houston Man Forced To Pay Child Support For Child That DNA Proves Isn’t His

HOUSTON — A new state law says men no longer have to make child support payments if they discover the child is not theirs, but a Houston man says he still has to pay.

Ray Thomas contacted KHOU 11 News saying he is frustrated because he owes more than $50,000, even though he is not the child’s father.

“They’ve been taking money out of my income tax — taking my money and I haven’t been able to pay my bills,” Thomas said.

Thomas claims he’s a victim of mistaken paternity.

He said, in 1986 a woman he was dating had a baby and told Thomas it was his. In fact, he thought so too until the little girl’s hair started to turn red. Thomas said he went to court numerous times trying to clear things up, but said the judge wouldn’t hear it.

That’s because up until this month, reversing a mistaken paternity case had been nearly impossible.

“It had been an issue because it’s not fair,” said Cheryl Alsandor, a family law attorney. “On one hand, a DNA can clear a defendant of a crime years later, but it didn’t seem to be fair that it couldn’t clear a man of paternity.”

But times are changing.

This year, the Texas Legislature unanimously voted to change the law. It is already on the books. DNA proof can reverse parental rights.

“And now with the passing of this law, a man who is not the father can now sort of be free of that title and the proper man can be put into place to establish that relationship,” she said.

But we learned the new legislation will not help Thomas because his case is old and the courts are looking not backward, but forward.

And the attorney general’s office confirmed for us that Thomas still must pay $52,000 in back child support — $13,000 of that is interest.

Thomas is being billed even though he and his suspected daughter paid $450 for their own DNA test.

“And it said zero percent the daddy,” Thomas said.

Thomas took the DNA results to court but the judge wouldn’t accept it, he said.

“I don’t understand the judge can just give you a baby that ain’t yours and don’t try to try you, and I don’t understand it,” he said.

He said he doesn’t understand how the state of Texas can still take part of every one of his paychecks.

Co-Parenting After Divorce – Early Show – CBS News Video.

Are You A Divorced Dad? So What? As Long As You’re the Greatest!

Can a divorced Dad be a great father? Perhaps a divorced guy should also ask you, “Why? Just because you’re not does not mean you’re a great father.” It’s really such a pity that our society as a dead beat parent just because of he’s divorced. There are a lot of amazing divorced fathers out there and you can learn a lot from them.

Keeping It Close

You’ve got to admit that children suffer a lot of the consequences of divorce. From irate parents, to separation anxiety it’s a tough world out there for children whose parents are divorced or getting divorced.

Preserving a relationship with the kids needs sacrifice from both sets of parents. Both mother and father have to be able to set aside their differences long enough to inspect the damage that they have both caused to their children. More often than not parents get to engrossed with their emotional pain that they fail to notice that their children suffer even more than they do.

Studies show that when both parents make conscious efforts to stay close to each other have more successful and stable children. What’s more when parents separate their relationship from those with their children, they tend to create a more harmonious relationship.

A Formal Study

To emphasize the importance of a father’s proximity to his children, the State University of Arizona conducted a study of college students whose parents where divorced. The researchers observed personality, emotional and mental maturity, health, and even interests in school and success. The researchers found several evidences that supports the idea that whoever has primary custody it is adamant that divorce parents be in close proximity of their children.

Findings

The Findings are very interesting. Statistics clearly shows that children whose parents are divorced have healthier and more mature relationships when their parents make a conscious effort of keeping the essence of family intact.

61% of the kids involved in the study asserted that their mom or whoever had primary custody moved them at least an hour’s drive away from the other parent. One of the concerns expressed by the students was getting in between the crossfire. When they stay with one parent during the move, future financial help (like for college) lessened. Example, if they stayed with dad mom gives less when college comes, and vice versa. In fact the investigation showed that the 1 hour driving distance already had a negative effect on the children.

Emotional upheaval cannot be avoided, but a keener inspection of the kids showed that those whose parents kept them close have a healthier disposition emotionally and mentally.

In Conclusion

All in all the study asserts that divorce does affect children. The way the parents treat each other and the distance they have from their children does have a significant impact that could determine whether the child succeeds or not. It is difficult to make friends with an ex wife after all that’s been said and done, but it will be more difficult for you as a divorced dad when in the future you see your children suffer the consequences of your action.

As a divorced dad, it is your responsibility, to your self and your children to make the supreme sacrifice of making the first step of keeping close.

In any child custody case, the court decision always focuses on the “best interests” of the child. This is a great consideration whether an out-of-court settlement has been reached by both parents and their lawyers or a custody decision is made by a family court. What do the child’s best interests involve? Read on to learn more about how custody decisions are made based on this approach.

Essentially, the best interests of the child means that all discussions and decisions regarding the custody and visitation of a child are made with an ultimate goal: promoting and nurturing the security, physical and mental health, happiness, and emotional development of the child. Usually and ideally, it is in the best interest of the child to keep a close and healthy relationship with both parents. However, maintaining such a relationship can be difficult in some cases, and this can get in the way of resolving a custody dispute. If you are caught in the middle of a custody conflict, it is important that you focus on making decisions based on the best interest of your children. This will definitely affect your children’s lives and your relationship with them in the future.

There is no standard definition when it comes to a child’s best interests. To have a clear idea of what the best interest of a child really entails, it pays to know the factors that are taken into consideration in many custody cases.

• Physical and mental health of the parents
• Age and sex of child
• Wishes of the child if he or she is of the right age
• Religious considerations
• The relationship with & support from extended family of each parent
• Proof of alcohol, drug, or sexual abuse of each parent
• Emotional abuse or discipline from parents
• Stability of the home environment of each parent
• The child’s adjustment to community and school

The wishes of the child regarding his or her custody have a huge bearing in any custody decision. These preferences can affect the court decision as to who will get the custody of the child. However, it still depends on the state where the case is being heard. Under particular circumstances, some states allow the child to have a say in the hearings. In other states, the courts have the discretion to determine how much relevance it will put on the child’s preference regarding his or her custody.

The child must be legally competent to testify in court, meaning he or she understands what the child custody hearings are all about and knows the difference between truth and lies. When a child testifies in court, the judge does not directly ask the child if he or she would want to live with the father or the mother. Rather, the child is asked in a conversational manner to talk about life in school and home.

Oftentimes, the courts appoint a attorney to represent the child. This setup allows the child to participate in the hearings without the unnecessary stress and tension of the courtroom.