A divorce can be a horrible, life altering event and for some it does not stop when the divorce is final.

New Jersey Alimony Reform (NJAR) is a 501 (c) 4 non-profit organization comprised of both men and women, dedicated to change NJ’s alimony law so it’s fair for both divorcing parties.
Their goal is : We believe, very simply, New Jersey should ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE for divorcing couples. Alimony must serve as a transition to independence, not an “Award” and certainly not a lifetime entitlement – for one spouse never to have to work again.

In a this day and age when both men and women can earn enough to support themselves after a divorce, means it’s time for change. If you are looking at paying your ex- spouse for the rest of your life, you probably should go join NJAR and support them in their efforts changing the law.

Man sets himself on fire in name of a fathers rights.

What would cause a sane man to do this. Fathers rights need to addressed in this country, every day men are being treated unfairly in family court all across this country.

Quote from Thomas James Ball;
“I have 21 years of Army service going back to the Vietnam War. My loyalty to the government should be a given. It is gone. I am certain it will never return regardless of how long I might have lived.”

Another link to this sad story

In any child custody case, the court decision always focuses on the “best interests” of the child. This is a great consideration whether an out-of-court settlement has been reached by both parents and their lawyers or a custody decision is made by a family court. What do the child’s best interests involve? Read on to learn more about how custody decisions are made based on this approach.

Essentially, the best interests of the child means that all discussions and decisions regarding the custody and visitation of a child are made with an ultimate goal: promoting and nurturing the security, physical and mental health, happiness, and emotional development of the child. Usually and ideally, it is in the best interest of the child to keep a close and healthy relationship with both parents. However, maintaining such a relationship can be difficult in some cases, and this can get in the way of resolving a custody dispute. If you are caught in the middle of a custody conflict, it is important that you focus on making decisions based on the best interest of your children. This will definitely affect your children’s lives and your relationship with them in the future.

There is no standard definition when it comes to a child’s best interests. To have a clear idea of what the best interest of a child really entails, it pays to know the factors that are taken into consideration in many custody cases.

• Physical and mental health of the parents
• Age and sex of child
• Wishes of the child if he or she is of the right age
• Religious considerations
• The relationship with & support from extended family of each parent
• Proof of alcohol, drug, or sexual abuse of each parent
• Emotional abuse or discipline from parents
• Stability of the home environment of each parent
• The child’s adjustment to community and school

The wishes of the child regarding his or her custody have a huge bearing in any custody decision. These preferences can affect the court decision as to who will get the custody of the child. However, it still depends on the state where the case is being heard. Under particular circumstances, some states allow the child to have a say in the hearings. In other states, the courts have the discretion to determine how much relevance it will put on the child’s preference regarding his or her custody.

The child must be legally competent to testify in court, meaning he or she understands what the child custody hearings are all about and knows the difference between truth and lies. When a child testifies in court, the judge does not directly ask the child if he or she would want to live with the father or the mother. Rather, the child is asked in a conversational manner to talk about life in school and home.

Oftentimes, the courts appoint a attorney to represent the child. This setup allows the child to participate in the hearings without the unnecessary stress and tension of the courtroom.

Preserving Grandparent Visitation – What You Need to Know About Grandparent Rights

Visitation and custody issues are often the most difficult and painful part of a divorce or separation, especially when both parties can’t reach an agreement. The issue becomes even more complicated when grandparent rights are involved. Just because you, as a separated or divorced father were granted visitation rights, doesn’t mean that your child’s grandparents will also have that right. Although it may seem like common sense to allow children to continue to enjoy the love and affection of their grandparents, the courts unfortunately don’t agree.

As a father, you have to be prepared for the very real possibility that the mother may deny visitation rights to your parents. Grandparent visitation can be granted even over her objections, but the courts have certain guidelines on the issue of grandparent rights and they vary from state to state. In general though, the guidelines take into account what is in the best interest of the child before making a decision. Those guidelines may include:

• The wishes of the child, if they are old enough to make a decision for themselves
• The strength of the bond between the grandparents and grandchild
• Whether the child will suffer emotional harm if the grandparent/grandchild bond is broken

If the mother of your child does deny grandparent visitation, you do have recourse! But you will need to educate yourself on the laws in your state and consult with an attorney in order to determine how to go about securing grandparent visitation rights for your parents. In a best case scenario, this can be settled out of court through mediation, and often is. But you should also be prepared — you may have to go to court, but it is worth it to preserve your parent’s rights to spend time with their grandchild and to continue to be a part of their life.