Another good resource for fathers looking for fairness.

American Coalition for Fathers and Children

Co-Parenting After Divorce – Early Show – CBS News Video.

In any child custody case, the court decision always focuses on the “best interests” of the child. This is a great consideration whether an out-of-court settlement has been reached by both parents and their lawyers or a custody decision is made by a family court. What do the child’s best interests involve? Read on to learn more about how custody decisions are made based on this approach.

Essentially, the best interests of the child means that all discussions and decisions regarding the custody and visitation of a child are made with an ultimate goal: promoting and nurturing the security, physical and mental health, happiness, and emotional development of the child. Usually and ideally, it is in the best interest of the child to keep a close and healthy relationship with both parents. However, maintaining such a relationship can be difficult in some cases, and this can get in the way of resolving a custody dispute. If you are caught in the middle of a custody conflict, it is important that you focus on making decisions based on the best interest of your children. This will definitely affect your children’s lives and your relationship with them in the future.

There is no standard definition when it comes to a child’s best interests. To have a clear idea of what the best interest of a child really entails, it pays to know the factors that are taken into consideration in many custody cases.

• Physical and mental health of the parents
• Age and sex of child
• Wishes of the child if he or she is of the right age
• Religious considerations
• The relationship with & support from extended family of each parent
• Proof of alcohol, drug, or sexual abuse of each parent
• Emotional abuse or discipline from parents
• Stability of the home environment of each parent
• The child’s adjustment to community and school

The wishes of the child regarding his or her custody have a huge bearing in any custody decision. These preferences can affect the court decision as to who will get the custody of the child. However, it still depends on the state where the case is being heard. Under particular circumstances, some states allow the child to have a say in the hearings. In other states, the courts have the discretion to determine how much relevance it will put on the child’s preference regarding his or her custody.

The child must be legally competent to testify in court, meaning he or she understands what the child custody hearings are all about and knows the difference between truth and lies. When a child testifies in court, the judge does not directly ask the child if he or she would want to live with the father or the mother. Rather, the child is asked in a conversational manner to talk about life in school and home.

Oftentimes, the courts appoint a attorney to represent the child. This setup allows the child to participate in the hearings without the unnecessary stress and tension of the courtroom.

While fighting a child custody battle may seem like a daunting task. There are situations where the father is indeed proving to be the better parent while providing the more stable and secure environment for the children. If you are willing to take on this fight, here are a few tips that can help you be better prepared.

• Hire the right Lawyer. Hiring the correct lawyer is the most important single action that you can take. Without the correct lawyer, things seem not to work out as well, no matter how much hard work you put into your case.

• Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses as a parent. List both the positive and negative points of your character and your ability to raise your children. Also, make the same list for your ex-spouse and try to be impartial.

• Decide if the other person may try to make false allegations. What would they be? How will you dispute any false allegations? Make a list of witnesses that you can call on to refute any potential allegations.

• Make lists of information for the courts of what you can offer as the better parent in benefits for your children in quality of life, from medical care benefits, access to quality education, with your plans for college education.

During a child custody battle, nothing can be more demoralizing than the thought of missing out on key moments in your children’s life. As a father, you may be concerned that your wife will automatically be given primary physical custody. While it is true that women are usually awarded primary physical custody of children; ultimately, the courts try to act on behalf the child’s best interest, and custody is increasing being awarded to the father.

Fathers are idiots that do nothing but watch sports and drink beer. They certainly don’t have the first idea how to take care of a child, much less raise that child to be a productive member of society. That is unfortunately the father stereotype. Is this why the court system seems to favor the mother for child custody in a divorce? Or is it a throwback from the days when most mothers were “happy homemakers”? At what point will the court system move away from a bygone era?

The rights of fathers in custody cases have, in the past, been severely lacking. That is, until fathers started taking a stand and fighting. Studies have shown that the lack of a relationship with the father leads to an increased rate of drug use, depression, criminal behavior and other social problems. This has led to the support of child psychologists and social workers and the formation of father’s rights organizations which help fathers fight for their rights. Children of divorce need their father’s guidance, influence, and presence, if positive, to provide some semblance of normalcy in the child’s life.

Father’s rights have increased and it is getting better with time, but we have a very long road ahead of us. Judges still tend to side with the mother in custody cases about 90% of the time. The courts are starting to wake up and give fathers increased visitation in the form of standard visitation schedules and more say in the raising of the children, even if they do not win custody. The trends seems to be moving more toward the joint custody concept, which gives the father more input into the major decisions regarding child raising. This limits what the mother can do without consulting the father and is very favorable for the fathers rights. The court system is coming around to the belief that a father should have equal rights, albeit slowly.

Custody should be in the best interests of the child, i.e. which parent can provide a more stable home. Society is beginning to get away from past thinking that children should be placed with the mother by default. We now live in a world in which the traditional family is not the norm, and this is starting to be realized. We fathers are going to have to continue to fight for our rights and show that we can be good parents, as good as or in some cases better than the mothers. Our children’s future is worth that fight.