The #1 cause of divorce is marriage. Besides that there are many different reasons for divorces and there are no real statistics collected in this area.
The grounds listed on the forms that are filed with each divorce case in most states rarely list the actual cause of the divorce. If you ask the two spouses each might each have a completely different view of the caused of the divorce.

• Lack of communication: Probably the biggest cause of divorce. A marriage is in trouble when the communications break down. You can’t have an effective relationship if either one of you won’t discuss your feelings, or talk about your personal issues. This will keep your resentments seething, hidden away, just waiting for the moment to come to the surface.
• Financial issues: One or both of the couple could be a person that likes to live beyond theirmeans. Debt starts adding up and stress starts building until you turn on each other and start assigning blame for the debt, even though they may have played just as big a role as their spouse did.
• Lack of commitment to the marriage: After the “honeymoon” period of the marriage is over,usually about two years or so, the realization of real life starts to step in. You may have a child and you have bills, and it is just not as fun as it was at first and sometimes one partner just checks out mentally.
• A dramatic change in priorities: People grow emotionally at different rates, and sad to say,sometimes you just outgrow your spouse or they grow in a negative way.
• Infidelity: Not much explanation needed here, the grass is always greener…..

One thing on the list, financial issues or infidelity, could lead to another thing on the list, lack of communication or a change in life priorities, which could lead to a lack of commitment. You could arrange them in many possible ways, and get to the same end. To solve the problem you have to get to the core problem.

Four of these issues is what caused the break-up of my marriage and by the time it had gotten to the point where I had lost the commitment to the marriage it was pretty much over. Could it had still been saved? Probably not, because the other issues had gone on for too long resulting in a dramatic change in my priorities. We had reached a point where the road together was bogged down with misery and depression. I felt the only path to take was, go our separate ways..

Be on the lookout for my next post, Negotiating a Super Awesome Divorce Settlement, out late this week or early next.