Is it possible to remain friends with your ex?

Men may or may not want to remain friends with their ex, whether girlfriend or wife, after their divorce.  They may want to remain friends because they feel they have a special connection or just enjoy being with her, but cannot remain married to her.  Remaining friends may not be possible if there are too many issues to deal with in the relationship.

It is important to remember, regardless if you stay friends with your ex-wife or not, if you have children together it is important to remain civil with her, especially in front of your children and when they may hear about what you have said or done.  You are an example for your children.  What you say and do does affect them, so it is important that they know you respect their mother, whether you agree with what she does or say.  Talk with her in private if you have issues.

Some remain friends with their ex-wives because they have children.  When children are involved things can get more complicated.  It is a wise thing to think about the children when there is a divorce.

After a divorce it may take some time for some to be around each other, depending on what happened in the divorce.  Some may never be able to be friends if there have been problems in the relationship.  It also depends on what happened that caused the divorce.  There are those who feel or believe that certain things mean any type of relationship with that person is not possible.  Some realize they are just better friends than they are husband and wife.  If that is you, then by all means, that is the way it should be.

To remain friends both parties need to be willing to be friends.  If both parties are not willing to be friends, it will not work. It will also take work for both parties to be friends.  The relationship is in a different place now, so understand what is different and how that affects the relationship is important. Another important thing to consider is what the definition of “friend” means for both parties.  Everyone has a different idea of what a friend means.

Some would say it can be hard to remain friends with your ex, especially when she may be dating one of your friends.  You want to spend time with your friends, want them happy, yet you do not want them to be uncomfortable and neither do you want to be uncomfortable.  Is your ex only friends with your friends because you introduced them and they really are not that close?  If so, you may not run into them when you hang out with your friends.

Remaining friends with an ex, wife or girlfriend, may be possible for some men, but not for all men.  Many find it is hard to remain friends, even if they want.  As long as you both know what you are trying to do, you will be a better person for it.