Women can be very unreasonable, at times, and with the proper skills, you can make this to your advantage. Divorce settlement negotiations can be made difficult by the emotions involved. If you can keep your emotions in control and do some planning, you can do much better.

Knowledge is power, the more you know, and the better prepared you are the better you will do in the negotiations.

Plan

• Understand the property law in your state.
• Plan for the best result you can hope for, the point in which you will walk away, and the area where you are most likely to agree.
• Find out what is really important to her, and don’t jump to conclusions.
• Be willing to compromise. It is important to know that you will not get everything you want, but know what is the least you will accept and stick to it.
• Know the estimated costs of trial.

Make the process efficient and effective by leaving negative emotions out.

• Be civil to your spouse and leave the reasons for the divorce out of the negotiations. Do not use negotiations as an excuse to bring up the problems of the marriage.
• Allow your spouse to speak without interruption.
• Be patient and use empathy; learn good listening skills and eventually you will get your turn to speak.
• Do not become defensive. If your spouse says something you think is unreasonable, don’t criticize. You do not have to agree with unreasonable demands. You should agree to disagree and leave harsh words out of the negotiations.

Things to remember

• If there is an item you can’t come to an agreement on, skip it till later.
• Remain open to unique opportunities to make deals.
• Don’t get hung up on one item.
• Don’t be the first to give a major concession.
• The best time to get a concession is when you are asked for one.
• Get everything in writing immediately
• Get an agreement to a termination date for spousal support or alimony if the law does not require it.
• If your wife assumes any debt that is jointly held, make sure your name is removed from the debt.
• Don’t fight for assets you can’t afford to maintain.
• If you have children who will one day go to college, make sure those expenses are negotiated now.
• Finally, NEVER sign your final divorce decree without fully reading and understanding every word.

In negotiations, emotion is your enemy. They will make you miss opportunities to get the things you want. Sit back and listen more than you speak, and you will do great.